Flash #21

Ellen pulls over fast and then hears a crunch beneath her car. She opens her door and sees a crumpled folding chair pinned under her tire. A man bursts out of the house along side her.
“What the fuck is your problem?! Get the fuck outta that spot! I shoveled it now get the fuck out.”
Ellen hadn’t even seen the traditional winter parking space marker until it was too late. She thinks to apologize, but sees the veins now bulging from the guy’s neck and decides to get out of there. She backs over the chair again, accompanied by the howl of the guy and then takes off again, turning down the first one way in her favor. She’s looking to take a second right, when she sees it: Mac’s house. She has turned down his street. Ellen slows at his address, and does not ask herself why. When there are no parking spaces in front, she pulls down the small side driveway. She’s out of the car door and running up the back stairs. She is banging on Mac’s back door and then banging on it again.
He appears in the window, looking white as a ghost, a shirt hastily buttoned. Mac swings open the door.
“What?” he says breathlessly.
It is the first time she realizes she is dizzy. “I can’t breathe,” Ellen whispers.
Mac pulls her towards him and walks her swiftly to his front room with a very strong arm holding her up. He guides her to a couch.
“I –“ she stammers. But he tells her, “Hold on.”
Mac goes into the kitchen and comes back with a brown paper bag. “Breath into it slowly” he says, holding it up to her mouth. Ellen takes it and does as she is told. Mac leaves her side and them comes back with a glass of water. It takes a while for her breathing to get more normal, but it comes. Ellen puts the bag down and drinks back the water.
“Okay?” he asks, “Better?”
She nods.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?”
She nods again. “Charlie,” is what comes out of her mouth.
Mac’s eyes widen. “Yeah…”
She doesn’t want to say it out loud, so she looks at Mac instead. His white button down shirt hangs crooked because of the first missed button and she can see the edge of a white bandage on his right shoulder. It makes a shot of pain go through her own right shoulder.
“He’s having an affair,” she whispers.
Mac’s mouth opens in surprise.
“How –”
“He just told me. Bing made him.”
“Ellen,” Mac says softly, touching her arm. It is the first time she notices she still has her coat on. Ellen unzips and riggles free from it. Then bows her head forward as huge hot tears start falling from her eyes.
“Holy Shit,” he whispers and rubs her shoulder a little. “Did you know…I mean did you think Charlie had a thing for guys?”
She pulls from him quickly. “Guys?”
Mac looks stunned. “You said Bing, right? Bing made him tell…”
Ellen finally gets it and lets out a crazy kind of laugh. “No! Bing found out! It wasn’t with him. It’s Stephanie.”
Mac raises an eyebrow, requesting more information.
“You know, Stephanie,” Ellen rushes on, still wiping tears and now sniffing at a running nose. “She was at the Christmas party. Skinny. Big printed silk scarf around her neck.”
A look of recognition comes over Mac’s face. “Pointy face?” he asks scowling.
Ellen laughs again, even though she is a mess of tears and snot now. “I need a tissue!” she exclaims.
Mac leans behind him and gets a box of tissues. “Here,” he offers, smiling a little.
Ellen blows her nose, wipes her cheeks, and laughs again. “Could you call her Pointy-Face or something worse from now on. I have the feeling it might help.”
Mac nods and then adjusts so that he is kneeling in front of her.
Suddenly, the rest is on her – the affair, her girls – and the tears are back again.
Mac moves a little closer and puts his arms out to her gently. Ellen is careful to lean her head on his unhurt shoulder and sobs. She can smell Ivory soap on his skin and the scratch of his unshaven cheek. It sends electricity through her body. Although it is pleasure coursing through her, Ellen pulls away as if receiving a shock. “Wait a minute,” she says.
Mac looks at her, concerned and sad, but Ellen doesn’t have anything else to say. She keeps looking at him and his eyes shine golden beneath the green. Ellen closes her eyes and puts her hands over her face. “Oh fuck,” she whispers to herself.
Mac puts his hand on her bare arm and she loves it too much. Her skin prickles with goosebumps and Ellen gently pulls it away.
“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “What can…I want to help.”
Ellen clamps her eyes shut tighter. Why is this happening now? she begs to know. Why do I feel like this now? Ellen opens her eyes again as if awaiting a new vision of Mac, one that does not turn her on so completely. One that makes her feel like something other than a nineteen-year-old virgin. But there he is again, goddamn it, and all she can think to do is to kiss that mouth.
“Have you ever wanted to be with me Mac?” she hears herself say, and it makes her start to tremble.
Mac’s eyes widen and he sits back on his heels.
“I haven’t done anything about it because of my marriage,” she stumbles. Her mouth feels out of her control. She’s frantic to stop the words and for a moment bites her bottom lip so hard that she can feel her pulse against her tongue. It doesn’t stop her. “But I just found out I don’t have a marriage anymore.”
Mac’s mouth opens slightly, as if he’s going to say something, but nothing comes out.
Ellen shifts in her chair with no plan but to get closer to him. She can’t help but keep looking at his lips. Her heart is pounding painfully against the base of her throat. She puts a hand out to his arm. She touches his wrist, then grips it more firmly.
“Ellen don’t,” he finally whispers, putting his hand up in the space between them. “Don’t talk like this now. You’ll regret it.”
It stings of rejection and Ellen pulls back. It sends humiliation crashing over her like a wave. Charlie is cheating on her. Stephanie is after her children. Mac does not want her. The walls are pulling so much closer and she is starting to doubt which way is up.
“I regret what a fucking idiot I’ve been,” she says. “Charlie’s been sleeping with her for months Mac! And I didn’t know! I feel like some stupid fucking housewife. And now…this.”
She watches as he closes his eyes and swallows. She wants to smell the Ivory soap again, touch that unshaven cheek.
“What’s this?” he asks. It is the first time Ellen hears his voice go thin, as if there isn’t enough breath to support it. She moves forward again, slowly and as she draws closer, only a few inches between them now, Ellen can feel his tension like an electric fence around them.
“Please,” she whispers and it makes her insides come alive. The unmistakable feeling of sexual thrill rushes through her.
Mac shakes his head. “It’s a mistake,” he says but she can hear his own racing heart in the unevenness of his breath.
“I don’t care.”